Saturday, February 9, 2013

They call me crazy legs?

sometimes (though it sure as hell feels like all the time), life kicks my balls. it can be a sneak attack or i can see it coming or it can be a combination of both as was the case yesterday/last night. you see i have an issue with my legs...they dont work. my brain tells them to do things but the just dont, i think if that was all i could live with it BUT...they do have their own brain (or so it would seem to me). the legs i own will shake like fucking crazy AND fast all by themselves...i dont get how they do it and it pisses me of that they are capable of this kind of movement on their own but when i try to make them do it, i get the old fuck you steve we dont listen to you. that is only the start of the issues i have with these pricks i call my legs....when the urge hits them and they decide to go dancing it is terrible for the one who doesnt want to dance (that would be me). you see they like dancing at anytime of the day...and during the day i can sort of deal with it...its at night though when they like to dance the most, at bed time. the way they go about it is really messed up too, they(the powers that control this event are "they") wait till all is quiet then they pick a muscle in my foot and upper thigh and then very slowly increase the voltage to full strength on the nerve that connects the two of them...i feel this uncontrollable tingle grow until my leg shakes so violently the entire bed feels like a magic fingers massage. it lasts about 10 seconds and then stops...and this happens hundreds of times per night no matter the position i am in.

now, this was happening last about 1:30am (i have been dealing with this since 9pmish and i havent slept yet) when abby comes to my bedroom door and scares the shit out of me(i know this means i am about to get even more uncomfortable).

abby: mommy?
(jen has been in full snore mode for hours...dont ask me how with the bed shaking like crazy)
mom: *no answer*
abby: MOMMY?
mom: *still no answer*
abby: grrrrr
dad: yes girlie
abby: i had a bad dream

this is where the conversation ends and she is already climbing in to my spot...ya, she sleeps draped over me on my side leaving jen to her half of the bed. so here i am sharing a spot with the girl while my leg is doing the twist with a vengeance when all of a sudden as if to tell me they have only been kicking one nut, my other leg starts to shake. this just does not happen...ever. its one or the other not i am stuck between abby and the edge of the bed with both legs doing a jig while jen snores (no clue how the woman sleeps through this). its 1:45am and i want to cry....

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like you need a morphine drip at those times. Another friend who lost the battle to ALS last year found that was a big help to his muscle problems. If it bugged him, he hit a button and problem solved. It helped him sleep.